Hello - not sure if anyone reads these, however the reason why i haven't been putting as many songs in december is because I'm working on my own sample pack full of lofi and trap loops that i am making from scratch. I'll also have a look into making my own drums although i'm not sure if i'll have anything other than drum loops since if i can't (yet) make them at the quality that i want then i would rather wait since i value quality > quantity. I've also been making demo tracks made from these loops that i will probably be uploading all at once when they are all properly mixed. This sample pack will be available for free and i'll make a post about it once i finish it but that will take a while since i want it to have a pretty big selection of loops. That's all for now, just wanted to let you know:)
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In regards to "if anyone reads these," don't sweat that. I've had people go through all my old posts and comment on stuff that was over ten years old. You're an artist and making a statement is an important means to communicate your existence. If you just post content without saying anything you are just a webpage to everyone that stops by. Force people into seeing you as a human, not just a webpage to be used.
Not sure if you ever finished the sample pack but I've been loving the Jamuary material. I see you, I love the music, and I respect you as a peer ^o^
I'm gonna finish it after Jamuary, i didn't think I'd participate and I don't have time for anything else besides these songs (speaking of which, i'm struggling to make one right now). Besides Jamuary and the sample pack i also want to make music for a potential video game that a friend is working on. That game may never be finished but the one track I've made for it so far gave me a lot of inspiration.
As time goes on and as I make more music, I get more and more depressed and get less and less joy from them but whenever I took breaks I just ended up getting dragged back into it again because I cannot resist the temptation. I can listen to my favourite artists all day, be inspired but struggle to make anything however I can hear some drums somewhere or a certain sound that I enjoy and make songs for weeks. I'm at a point where I do not know what I want to achieve, followers and views matter very little to me at this point as I realized getting lost in numbers is pointless and only causes more headaches. Everyone around me tells me my music is good but I feel like it lacks a lot of things and that I won't ever be able to make the stuff I want to make, forever remaining overshadowed by people that are 10 times better than me at this.
Sometimes I wish that I would have stayed blissfully ignorant and continued on as I started (which is using stock loops on some website and arranging them) because back then I didn't give a damn about what people thought about it and felt happy that I was able to create some noise even if it was garbage. Sorry for the rant, I don't get the opportunity to talk as much as I want, my friends don't really understand what I mean besides the wee woo I'm sad part lol. I'll stay committed to Jamuary and this sample pack because I want to and at this point I can't and don't want to stop halfway through even if I think my music is hot garbo. Thanks for taking the time to read this, it means a lot!
You just described perfectly what many of us feel. Being a creative person comes with many conflicting feelings. Being your own worst critic is how you get to a more mature sound but that same criticism can paradoxically lead to self loathing, discomfort, and disillusionment. I also hear stuff other artists make and envy their ability to music the way they do but you always need to remind yourself that you do your own thing.
I've had long droughts where I wasn't writing anything at all. I got mad at a younger composer once because they were experiencing a period where they "just felt like the music flowed freely out of their hands." I tried keeping that envious feeling bottled up because I knew it was petty but music envy is very real. It's why I'm always trying to be positive, we all have these primal feelings.
I had to relearn how to have fun while writing music because it can feel like a chore sometimes. That loss of joy over time is such a huge killer of inspiration. There were a few years where I would open the DAW and say "I hate music. This is fucking stupid. Why am I doing this?" I think that leads to the idea that you do it for the final product, that completing a song or animation is what makes you happy when in all actuality there might be a deeper psychological problem going on.
I think what ultimately pulled me out of my rut was when I dropped some hard earned money on an 88 key CDP-S100. I loved playing the piano in college and the fact that I only ever wrote music on cheap keyboards was dreadfully stupid. Bought my first digital piano with weighted keys maybe two years ago? It's all just a circular process of learning, deconstructing what you learn, loving what you do, then hating what you do, then loving it again ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Couplex
You do the right thing, to group for yourself all your favorite sounds in your pack, this is a very good idea, I would also advise you to sample all the sounds that you like and throw in the same pack
Casper
I will have to delay it a bit, but i do have some melodic loops and effects planned out, i will definitely throw some sounds that i like to work with in there!